Four Divorce Mediation Myths

1. That you and your spouse have to be "amicable" to succeed in mediation. Not so, unless you are so angry that you cannot sit in the same room, much less listen to what the other person has to say. A competent mediator can handle a high level of discord.
   
2. That you need to be in basic agreement about the issues before you mediate. Mediation is a dispute resolution "process". It presupposes conflict.
   
3. Choosing mediation means forsaking lawyers. It is a different relationship to lawyers. Instead of retaining them as surrogate negotiators to "handle" your settlement for you, you use them as consultants on an "as needed" basis.
   
4. That the only alternative to mediation is litigation. Collaborative Practice, in which each spouse retains a collaborative lawyer, is intended for people who are drawn to the concept of mediation, but for whatever reason do not feel comfortable without the support of a lawyer present in the room who will advocate for them without being adversarial and without even threatening to go to court.